Katerina Aksonova. How to get your EX back.


    More about play.

    Idea 16.01.2016






    Carolyn’s partner in dance

    Susan’s partner in dance

    Mark’s partner in dance

    Scene 1.

    Carolyn walks on the stage, in front of curtain, nervously looks on the watch.

    CAROLYN: Where is he? He usually comes early. Waits me, complains. Where is Mark? It’s already five o’clock.

    Susan told me, told me: they do that all the time. Left with no message. Susan has the same problem with the sixth boyfriend. They never came again. Not a tiny call. Nothing.

    It can’t happen to me with Mark. I haven’t a clue. Mark was different. He is polite. Never forget important to me things. No!

    I have to face it. I need to get my ex boyfriend back. First step is Susan.

    Curtain opens.

    Scene 2.

    Room in woman’s flat. Pink colour is everywhere, nightmare of interior designer.

    Susan holds on shoulders Carolyn.

    SUSAN: Stop crying, Carolyn.

    CAROLYN: He left me, how you predicted.

    SUSAN: Dear, all men are the same. Look at my house. They can’t stay here more than a week. I don’t know what else did they need.

    CAROLYN: Have no idea, Susan. When I was five I promised myself that I will live in such place.

    SUSAN: Promise? At five I start to put money in my tiny money-box with pink bow on it.

    CAROLYN: I always admired your perseverance.

    SUSAN: What happened? Tell me.

    CAROLYN: He just not came on time. I waited, waited, waited.

    SUSAN: Did you call him?

    CAROLYN: Voice mail.

    SUSAN: My dear.

    CAROLYN: Is it a bad sign?

    SUSAN: What do you think?

    CAROLYN: Not good. But before that. Never.

    SUSAN: For break up they need just one attempt.

    CAROLYN: What I will do now? I love Mark.

    SUSAN: Are you sure that he knows about it?

    CAROLYN: Should be.

    SUSAN: We, beautiful women, used to receive attention. Don’t give back a lot to stay mysterious, unreachable, tempting.

    CAROLYN: Susan, all this you said aloud, I just inform you.

    SUSAN: I know. I advice you to tell him about your emotions.

    CAROLYN: When?

    SUSAN: Now you could try, but better was to made it before break up.

    CAROLYN: Susan, you are my saviour.

    SUSAN: My practical experience helps me to be wise.


    Scene 3.

    Carolyn’s room. Stylish apartment in modern minimalist design. On windows are curtains of “ashes of roses” colour.

    Enters Carolyn.

    CAROLYN: Say about own feelings. What sense? I’m panicked. Not. What emotions about Mark? Mark.

    I can’t say it to the chair. I’ll bring here a Mark.

    Carolyn drags Mark by the sleeve of his jacket on stage.

    MARK: What are you doing?

    CAROLYN: Rehearsal on the field.

    MARK: What I suppose to do, if you envisage our conversation?

    CAROLYN: Be attentive and lovely, like usual.

    MARK: And quiet?

    CAROLYN: You could talk.

    MARK: What about if it’s your conceptualized conversation?

    CAROLYN: I knew that some contradictions are inside you. Fine, just smile.

    MARK: What for?

    CAROLYN: I will tell you about my emotions.

    MARK: Is it for long?

    CAROLYN: Why you complain?

    MARK: Dear, do you know how many hours you spend in this pretend conversations with me. More than we spend together in real life.

    CAROLYN: Be lovely, one more time.

    MARK: I heard this few times during each day.

    CAROLYN: Shut up, or I’ll talk with the mirror.

    MARK: Old story. We both know how it usually ends!

    CAROLYN: Remind me.

    MARK: You’ll start to try new make-up.

    CAROLYN: I once had an idea of different colours combination.

    MARK: Will we start?

    CAROLYN: If you insist.

    MARK: I have no choice.

    CAROLYN: My dear Mark.

    MARK: Here we are again. Yes, dear.

    CAROLYN: My love, Mark.

    MARK: My love, Carolyn.

    CAROLYN: Don’t answer. Than will be a kiss. I need a new script.

    MARK: Next turn.

    CAROLYN: Mark, you know how I love you.

    MARK: Yes, but I’m against pets in house. I have an allergy for wool, feathers and scale of fish, just in case.

    CAROLYN: If we’ll have a pet together, it will mean something.

    MARK: Like I said before...

    CAROLYN: I love you.

    MARK: Did I miss the connection?

    CAROLYN: It’s just another beginning of conversation.

    MARK: Put warning marks or make gestures.

    CAROLYN: Mark, I love you.

    MARK: It sounds great.

    CAROLYN: I don’t think so. I remember another times.

    MARK: Shall I go out?

    CAROLYN: Stay. Listen. Fred, I love you. Ben, I love you. Brett, I love you. Bryan, I love you. Billy, I love you. Bernie, I love you. Don’t comment. Susan called that “B-period” in my life. Salvatore, I love you. Oliver, I love you. Mark, I love you. Or better I will try with different intonation. I love you, Mark. Sincerely tell about feelings. I love you.

    MARK: History page is closed for now.

    CAROLYN: I want that you know: I have feelings for you. I don’t always show them, because... because...

    MARK: Because?

    CAROLYN: It have to be clear if you’ll pay attention.

    MARK: You are right, rehearsal is must have.

    CAROLYN: I care about you. I was not sure it’s necessary to tell you daily, before our break-up.

    MARK: Our break-up. What I have common with it?

    CAROLYN: It was your decision.

    MARK: Mine?

    CAROLYN: When you didn’t come I understand that all is over.

    MARK: Why on Earth?

    CAROLYN: What I had to think any way?

    MARK: Look at the bright side of life.

    CAROLYN: How?

    MARK: Aliens. Or it could be car accident...

    CAROLYN: Car accident, of course, now I feel better. Car accident! I have to go.


    Scene 4.

    In front of curtain.

    Carolyn closes her eyes with hands.

    Enters Doctor with stretcher on which is closed by sheet Mark’s body.

    DOCTOR: We did what we could. Few moments to your last goodbye. Family waits. You wasn’t even engaged.

    CAROLYN: Thank you, doctor.

    Doctor exits.

    CAROLYN: My dear Mark, when you were alive I never told that your attention is necessary to me. I love you with all my heart, but brain told to walk away. And now, when you are here, motionless...

    Wait, doctor was right. We even not engaged.

    Mark sits on the stretcher, throws on stage sheet.

    MARK: Don’t you think it’s too much?

    CAROLYN: You are right. About engagement it wasn’t on time.

    MARK: Can you give me the cue in which way what is here?

    CAROLYN: I can’t...

    MARK: Hell right, heaven left, or in the contrary.

    CAROLYN: Mark, how could you?

    MARK: Me? I know heaven is in any direction from you.

    Mark takes the sheet and walks away.

    Carolyn pushes stretcher and exits the same direction.

    CAROLYN: Don’t behave like spoiled child.


    Scene 5.

    Susan’s room.

    CAROLYN: I think to tell about my feelings it’s not my strongest point.

    SUSAN: We are equal here. I all the time became too emotional, start to recite my poems which I wrote to him. The same you are.

    CAROLYN: In outline.

    SUSAN: Next move. Show him that you deserve man’s attention.

    CAROLYN: If he is with me...

    SUSAN: Another man.

    CAROLYN: To make him jealous.

    SUSAN: Apprentice starts to make own independent steps. Touching. Listen: Party, a lot of men and you dance with another man. Slowly music, dark room, only silhouettes. He whispers you in the ear...

    CAROLYN: What?

    SUSAN: It’s trifles. Score of previous football match. But you have to listen like sexiest thing which you heard. Mark will see that, became jealous. Returns to you. Ta-da!

    CAROLYN: Sounds easy.

    SUSAN: Let’s try.


    Scene 6.

    Twilight light, romantic song.

    Three pairs dancing on the floor. Susan with man on whom she doesn’t pay much attention, she observes Carolyn who tight pressed herself to partner. Mark dances with not sober girl, which all the time laugh.

    Susan with gestures encourages Carolyn. All seems good, suddenly Carolyn stops.

    CAROLYN: Unbearable.

    SUSAN: What’s now!

    Lights on, it’s Susan’s room.

    CAROLYN: He dances with his ex.

    SUSAN: What?

    MARK: I know, she is impossible.

    SUSAN: Why?

    CAROLYN: He always told me that he needs a woman who could make him smile.

    MARK: She is laughing, she is drunk. Not me. Carolyn, again you miss details.

    SUSAN: Dear friend, you worse than me in making jealous scenes. Thank for knowledge, I never thought it’s possible. You all, get out of here.

    Partners in dance exits.


    Scene 7.

    Mark, Susan and Carolyn sit on sofa.

    CAROLYN: What now?

    SUSAN: I will not mention that Mark was right when decided to break up with you.

    MARK: One supporter.

    CAROLYN: I don’t know if you really went away from me.

    MARK: Now I’m happy that find a supporter. Give me a minute for joy.

    CAROLYN: Susan!

    SUSAN: Give me a minute to think.

    CAROLYN: You are my last hope, Susan.

    SUSAN: Romantic dinner at home.

    MARK: No. No.

    SUSAN: But why?

    MARK: Only after Carolyn will have Diplome de francaise professionel (DFP). Clairement?

    CAROLYN: Va bene. Comment dire.

    SUSAN: Was problems?

    MARK: Was hospital for me.

    SUSAN: Unforeseen complications. Carolyn you again surprised me.

    CAROLYN: It was raw translation...

    MARK: I already heard it.

    SUSAN: Painful memories. I’m confused of your hide stories.

    CAROLYN: Everyone had past.

    SUSAN: Don’t you think you work too hard?

    CAROLYN: Gentle hint about?

    SUSAN: If he went away, give him a chance to be free and return to you, when he will wish.

    CAROLYN: Good, not yours experience. Who wrote Dave every day? You used my phone.

    SUSAN: It was once.

    MARK: Come on, Susan, you used also my phone. Didn’t make first step to ex it’s not about you.

    SUSAN: Why you ask me, Carolyn?

    CAROLYN: You have ideas. I’m not.

    SUSAN: No contacting it’s not for you, like we figured out.

    CAROLYN: I need to know why he did it to me.

    SUSAN: Dear, I can’t get: you want him back or find a reason to kill him?

    MARK: Both.

    CAROLYN: No one asked you, not in my imagination.

    MARK: Sorry, again sorry.

    SUSAN: Maybe, hand written letter in which you explain your feelings, how you miss him. How is difficult for you, life without him.

    CAROLYN: I have no idea how to write that stuff. It’s too painful.

    SUSAN: Nothing to worry about. I will show my three favourite, which I use all the time. You can choose one letter.

    MARK: And my role here is?

    CAROLYN: You are not here. No one are. Enough.


    Scene 8.

    Carolyn’s room.

    CAROLYN: I will not listen to anyone. We just talk. Conversation with Mark and he will tell me everything. I’ll call him to visit me.

    I just have to put that vase back, also flowers. It’s not fair. I love my stuff. Better to see him in his apartment, I always detest his toys car’s collection. Big boy has to have big toys, with real engines in them.

    I will listen to him and I will forgive him. How I will forgive him! He will remember my forgiveness for long time.

    He never will know what I felt when I wait for his call. How jealously I was thinking that he was with someone else. I even thought that Mark had something with Susan. He never will. He hate pink colour.

    Pink colour! Oh my God, I will throw away my curtains.

    What else? If he wish, I will be running with him in the morning or destroy his snickers the evening before. Good idea. Much better is to have private swimming pool. Yeah.

    I loved him for granted. I don’t ever suppose, if he loves me, he could go away. Could he forget that little poisoning? Who could foresee that he is such tender human being?

    I will survive our break up. I will be disappointed. I want to be wrong and heard his ring at door.

    Bell rings.

    CAROLYN: Dear, now or never. I will be kindest. I will be sweetest. I will tell him all lovely words which I remember.

    Carolyn exits.

    Scene 8.

    Carolyn and Mark enter. Carolyn looks suspiciously on Mark.

    MARK: I came early.

    CAROLYN: Early?

    MARK: Susan didn’t come jet.

    CAROLYN: Susan?

    MARK: What’s wrong?

    CAROLYN: Wrong?

    MARK: Something broken in your answer machine, dear.

    CAROLYN: Where have you been?

    MARK: I made a surprise, came here before Susan.

    CAROLYN: Do you know what time is it?

    MARK: You have own clock, but if you want to hear it from me. Ten past seven.

    CAROLYN: Ten past seven.

    MARK: Dear, you really need new medicine. Like you told me: On Wednesday and Friday you and Susan go to class. And when you came back you tired. So I came here in person to remind you about our tomorrow, at Thursday, meeting. I will came to you at five. Like I wrote in text message.

    CAROLYN: And today is Wednesday?

    MARK: As far as all calendars don’t cheat.

    CAROLYN: You didn’t...

    MARK: What?

    CAROLYN: Nothing. I think that I will see you tomorrow at five.

    MARK: We have plenty of time. Susan, like always be late.

    CAROLYN: Not today.

    Bell ring.

    MARK: Did you hear her steps?

    CAROLYN: I feel when she had new idea.

    Scene 9.

    Enters Susan.

    SUSAN: Carolyn, plan for today changed.

    CAROLYN: Unpredictable.

    SUSAN: Mark, how good that you are here. You will go with us in the night club.

    MARK: I thought it was classes of hand-something-made.

    SUSAN: Not tonight. I have new plan how to get my ex back.

    CAROLYN: You will dance all evening with me, Mark. Clairement?

    MARK: Comment dire, ma chere.

    SUSAN: This time everything will happen smoothly.

    MARK: Night will be long?

    SUSAN: It will be fun.

    CAROLYN: It will be... you’ll see. Susan has a lot to teach others, believe me.


    January 2016.

    Mail: aksioma@neonet.ua


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