September 2014Importance of being unnoticed.

importance-of-being-unnoticed-written-by-Kateryna-Aksonova


    More about play.


    Revision 15-17/09/2014.


    CHARACTERS:

    Man.
    Woman.
    Second Man.

    Scene 1.
    Evening, park, a few park benches are on stage.

    MAN enters cautiously, holds in hands green lamp. He sits at first, than on second bench, which is in the middle. Man is edgy, in black sunglasses.

    Enters WOMAN, she is incensed.

    WOMAN: I am certain it is you.
    MAN: Sure.
    WOMAN: I couldn’t make a mistake. I followed you.
    MAN: I did everything.
    WOMAN: I spotted. Green lamp.
    MAN: I completely agree it is stupid.
    WOMAN: You can’t say that.
    MAN: Sorry. I just bought it. Maybe, later, I will use to it. If have to.
    WOMAN: It would be best for you.
    MAN: You intend, lamp is a part of plan.
    WOMAN: Yes, of enormous project.
    MAN: Sorry, I didn’t assume.
    WOMAN: Of course. From where?
    MAN: I will put it near my bed.
    WOMAN (dreamily): Yes. Near bed, on left side.
    MAN: Is it significant?
    WOMAN: Surely. Curtains are green at left.
    MAN: I’m afraid they are blue.
    WOMAN: How dare you? Green lamp and blue curtains.
    MAN: I could change them, if it helps.
    WOMAN: Undoubtedly. You have to remember about that when you bought that lamp.
    MAN: I didn’t imagine it need such changes.
    WOMAN: You have to think two steps ahead.
    MAN: I agree. But I hope it’s your work.
    WOMAN: My?
    MAN: Yes. To manage all those. Curtains, lamp.
    WOMAN: Are you mad?
    MAN: I am ready to pay for that.
    WOMAN: How? Who? I am... You are bastard. And you don’t deserve this lamp.
    MAN: Perhaps. But it was your choice.
    WOMAN: Undeniably.
    MAN: What I have to do later?
    WOMAN: And what you were planning?
    MAN: I don’t know. I feel a little bit dumb, with that lamp.
    WOMAN: Lamp is gorgeous.
    MAN: Possibly I don’t ready for curtains change.
    WOMAN: By all means.
    MAN: And I think if it was your undertaking...
    WOMAN: Yes?
    MAN: I give you this lamp. And you tell me what to implement next.
    MAN places the lamp on the bench near him.
    WOMAN: Elementary.
    MAN: Yes. It would be my first step to become unnoticed.
    WOMAN: What?
    MAN: Sorry. I mustn’t pronounce it aloud. Sorry. But we are alone here.
    WOMAN (in a whisper): Indeed, we are.
    MAN: We could calmly discuss all nicety about my new life as unnoticed person.
    WOMAN: Uh-huh. I understand. But at first I want to ask you. Why?
    MAN: Why I want to be unnoticed?
    WOMAN: Yes, it would be more easy to start with lamp... Not lamp, your new life.
    MAN: All right. You said that you know me.
    WOMAN: Yes, I recognized you. You were in that shop before me and bought that unique green lamp.
    MAN: Very well. Everybody identify me. It’s tiresome.
    WOMAN: Is it? Nobody remembers me.
    MAN: They make a big mistake you are not forgettable.
    WOMAN: Thank you. But I tell you that you will forget my face when we stop our chat.
    MAN: It could be that way. To be unnoticed you have to not recollect another one.
    WOMAN: Very logical.
    MAN: I was preparing to this conversation.
    WOMAN: I see.
    MAN: It is difficult to live like that.
    WOMAN: Of course. You are...
    MAN (puts his hand on her lips): Sorry. Not aloud. I know who I am and you know who I am.
    WOMAN (takes his hand from her face and holds it): Yes. We are conscious of it.
    MAN (slowly takes off glasses): Your help is very important for me.
    WOMAN: I... I don’t know what to say.
    MAN: Agreed, it is a big plan. Why you do this?
    WOMAN: Because of lamp.
    MAN: Interesting.
    WOMAN: By reason of light which you could find in your survival.
    MAN: I don’t want brightness, I want shadow.
    WOMAN: We are totally different. I always wanted more illumination, more lamps.
    MAN: Yes. This lamp is symbol, which shows me the way to dark.
    WOMAN(unclasps hands): Indisputably. Lamp is an identification mark.
    MAN: Indeed. It was your idea.
    WOMAN: Lamp. Obviously. We have short time now. We must meet again.
    MAN: Yes. As you say.
    WOMAN: And you don’t need that lamp any more. I bear you in mind.
    MAN: Unmistakably.
    WOMAN: Without lamp they didn’t recognize you.
    MAN: Who?
    WOMAN: Silent. I am thinking.
    MAN: Apologies.
    WOMAN: Give me that lamp.
    MAN: What? You told me to keep it near my bed.
    WOMAN: Not with blue curtains.
    MAN: I could replace them.
    WOMAN: No. We are changing scheme.
    MAN: Yes. What we will do?
    WOMAN: You give me that silly lamp.
    MAN: And then?
    WOMAN: Then you will go out of here. Quickly.
    MAN: And upcoming step?
    WOMAN: It is next step.
    MAN: Leave. When and how we will gather again?
    WOMAN: You are noticeable, I will find you.
    MAN: Strange, but fair.
    WOMAN: Yes. Now I’ll take that green lamp.
    MAN: Outstanding.
    WOMAN: Immediately. Go home.
    MAN: Bye.
    WOMAN: Move.
    WOMAN takes the lamp, goes away. MAN goes away in opposite direction. Empty stage.

    Scene 2.
    On stage enters SECOND MAN.
    SECOND MAN: I am wrong or I just lost my client. From where she emerged. From hell? She took that lamp. I don’t remember that she is one of noticeable. Evidently, she is insane.
    I must think faster. I need that client. I made preparations. They all give big money. And I have only to pay to paparazzi for few days. Then customers became content and I have plenty of time to move to another place. Soon for unnoticed everything begins from start. But I am far away. I know how to turn into unnoticed and I never reveal the mystery of it.
    What doesn’t kill makes us stronger. I’ll play the card of that lady. I install her in my story and I make restitution of my client.
    SECOND MAN goes in direction in which exits MAN.

    Scene 3.
    SECOND MAN and MAN enter on stage, sit on the bench.
    MAN: It’s unbelievable.
    SECOND MAN: Sorry.
    MAN: Yes. You have to coordinate advice with your co-worker.
    SECOND MAN: Guilty. It was just a verification.
    MAN: Mine?
    SECOND MAN: We have to be certain that you are ready to trust us.
    MAN: Are you following me?
    SECOND MAN: Not exactly. I was all the time nearby you.
    MAN: I didn’t notice.
    SECOND MAN: That’s why you need my skills, not on the contrary.
    MAN: I see. And that woman?
    SECOND MAN: Which?
    MAN: With lamp.
    SECOND MAN: I need to specify how strongly you want what you asked for.
    MAN: She is nice.
    SECOND MAN: Who?
    MAN: Your la femme.
    SECOND MAN: She is not mine.
    MAN: But you said?
    SECOND MAN: We work together. So lady is my colleague, no more.
    MAN: I am glad to hear that.
    SECOND MAN: Could we return to our business?
    MAN: Will I undergo through more tests?
    SECOND MAN: What do you imply?
    MAN: Lamp, woman. I wait with impatience when you run away from me and third person will come and tell it was another examination.
    SECOND MAN: No. No. Only one check.
    MAN: Fine.
    SECOND MAN: We thoroughly prepare for each meeting.
    MAN: I noticed.
    SECOND MAN: Don’t be sceptical.
    MAN: Green lamp.
    SECOND MAN: Unique green lamp in shop, it stayed there for weeks. You couldn’t create a mistake.
    MAN: For weeks.
    SECOND MAN: Yes.
    MAN: Anybody could buy it.
    SECOND MAN: Not. Too specific and too expensive.
    MAN: Indeed. And lamp is perfect for green curtains.
    SECOND MAN: I think so. Where did we stop?
    MAN: Green lamp.
    SECOND MAN: Absolutely, preparing. You have to observe it at this appointment.
    MAN: Sorry?
    SECOND MAN: Place where we are now. You have to understand that in our work planning is the main work.
    MAN: It’s a park.
    SECOND MAN: And?
    MAN: What?
    SECOND MAN: I comprehend. Now you testing me. Fine.
    MAN: I wasn’t thinking about.
    SECOND MAN: I agree with you. How much I know about you? A lot. Not about your noticeable life but about your secrets.
    MAN: I open to the world. I even hadn’t a chance to make a classified step.
    SECOND MAN: You managed few. First it’s this park.
    MAN: What do you know?
    SECOND MAN: It’s strangest park in the city. Public at day, with crowds of human beings. But at night it belongs to one person – you.
    MAN: How do you...
    SECOND MAN: I did my homework. Because of this I chose this place. Any security camera is working at night. It’s your location for solitude. Individual heaven. Here you are unnoticed. And law protects your way of life.
    MAN: True. But sometimes people enters here.
    SECOND MAN: Correct. And it is not that big problem which is perturbing you.
    MAN: Exact. They recognise me.
    SECOND MAN: Everybody acknowledged you.
    MAN: At first I wanted to give them money.
    SECOND MAN: Pay to forget.
    MAN: Faultlessly. But they didn’t realize.
    SECOND MAN: Yes. And you have a great idea – pay the one person who can help.
    MAN: You know how terrible is my life. They are familiar with everything about me. Colour of my trash bags.
    SECOND MAN: Blue, as curtains in bedroom.
    MAN: Tone of my toothbrush.
    SECOND MAN: Purple. Unexpectedly for man like you.
    MAN: Which sock I put first.
    SECOND MAN: Right one. Always, after you put your trousers and shirt.
    MAN: What I do before important events.
    SECOND MAN: You watch silly cartoons for kids to neglect stress.
    MAN: I can’t live that way no more.
    SECOND MAN: In that case, you find a right person. It is better than suicide.
    MAN: I never...
    SECOND MAN: Maybe it is your cat which looks in internet – life after death.
    MAN (frenzy): I haven’t a cat. You are aware of that.
    SECOND MAN: I know. You took it to the vet and asked to euthanize the animal.
    MAN: No.
    SECOND MAN: Of course not. You changed your mind. And pay for animal shelter. Last week you received postcard: I will be yours forever. It was a signal. Cat died. She was trying to eat her toy.
    MAN: Bastard.
    SECOND MAN: It was you who chose for her that life, after cat ate all your goldfishes.
    MAN: Stop! Close! I believe that you know lots about me.
    SECOND MAN: Even more than people from whom you want to hide.
    MAN: I hope in price included that I never see you again.
    SECOND MAN: It’s my credo.
    MAN: And woman?
    SECOND MAN: Which woman?
    MAN: With lamp.
    SECOND MAN: Of course not. Never. And that lamp also. If it is so important for you.
    MAN: Thank you. Now I’ll think for some time.
    SECOND MAN: Do you want to come back to that crazy life?
    MAN: Not. But you never thought that a little bit, only slightly it looks like dying.
    SECOND MAN: Rubbish. You’ll become the one of us.
    MAN: Who?
    SECOND MAN: Nobody, about who no one is care. Like the vast majority of people on Earth.
    MAN: What about all that I had done? It can’t be wipe.
    SECOND MAN: You don’t believe in humanity. Give them time. In fortnight they will leave behind you.
    MAN: Impossible.
    SECOND MAN: When you’ll disappear from front pages they will find another one whom they could admire. And about your existence will remember only historians and tax council. Tax council always will notice you.
    MAN: And I want to know about your previous experience.
    SECOND MAN: What exactly is interesting to you? My background, who was my parents.
    MAN: Never. Names of persons who paid you to convert into unnoticed.
    SECOND MAN: I can give you a long list of them. But titles are unimportant, you don’t remember about them now.
    MAN: Stupid question it was.
    SECOND MAN: I used to them and ready to hear and answer more.
    MAN: How do you work?
    SECOND MAN: You pay me for that secrets.
    MAN: I just...
    SECOND MAN: What?
    MAN: If after few years, ten or more I will want to come back to my life.
    SECOND MAN: You will decide. But most of my clients bought one-way ticket.
    MAN: Did you?
    SECOND MAN: Don’t make big eyes. When they want to return they remember why changed life and calmly go back to unnoticed existence.
    MAN: And no one?
    SECOND MAN: Not in my practice. You receive back control above your being and nobody refuse it.
    MAN: To do what you want.
    SECOND MAN: To do all what you can afford to your money.
    MAN: Any destination?
    SECOND MAN: Yes. But only at this planet. Professional joke.
    MAN: Realistic. I thought about it. I dreamed about it. I am ready.
    SECOND MAN (gives paper): Fine. So it is our last meeting. Here is an account where you put money and when I receive your payment you become unnoticed.
    MAN (takes paper): I have more doubts.
    SECOND MAN: I’m listen.
    MAN: Not here. I catch laugh of lovers. They come and till your program won’t start I don’t want to be noticeable.
    SECOND MAN: Let’s go.
    Both men walk away from stage.

    Scene 4.
    Enters MAN.
    MAN: How stupid of me! I believed in that story. To become unnoticed. In world where security system is pagan religion which praises and punishes its adepts.
    My financial adviser saved me. He remembered that he made three equal bank operations. Every time all money were divided on seventeen parts.
    Lucky number, admitted that swindler. In memory, when he received money for nothing at first time.
    Adviser gave names, they all are noticeable persons. They still live open life, he can’t help them. But never they told about deception.
    At least I have my park. I had. Yes. She will understand when she’ll read announcement. From now park is open all night. Per chance she will remember about me. As minimum about her green lamp which she possessed for nothing.
    I didn’t listen what she told me. I was inside my thoughts. And her strange impulse to rescued me.
    Save me from that man. She believed that without lamp I will be unnoticed. Lady appreciated me. Even don’t asking why I think so. Just respected me as I never accepted anybody, even myself.
    I will come here every evening. I will live on that foolish bench till she come.
    Now I need a coffee. Because I can’t sleep when she will come.
    MAN exits.
    Blackout.

    Scene 5.
    WOMAN sits on bench, in her hands is green lamp.
    WOMAN: And if he did it. If he now unnoticed. What I did? I had to be more smart. Think longer. If he pay them, they will find him.
    Enters MAN, notices WOMAN, smiles.
    WOMAN: Thank God, it’s you.
    MAN: I am also glad to see you.
    WOMAN: Do you remember me?
    MAN: I can’t forget about you.
    WOMAN: Even when...
    MAN: Yes, even when I understand that all you need from me is this green lamp.
    WOMAN: Sorry.
    MAN: I am pleased that you came.
    WOMAN: Yes. I brought lamp for you.
    MAN: What? You could keep it for yourself.
    WOMAN: No. I carried lamp, for you. I hope, you will recall a lamp.
    MAN: Not a bad thought.
    WOMAN: Honestly?
    MAN: Yes. But I’ll recognize you even with a red vase.
    WOMAN: You know what to say to woman.
    MAN: Indeed. And now we could go somewhere.
    WOMAN: But everybody will acknowledge you.
    MAN: Yes. I don’t care till you are near me.
    WOMAN: Shall we?
    WOMAN gives him a lamp. MAN takes a lamp. They slowly go arm in arm to proscenium. Then MAN stops.
    MAN: I want to tell you one important thing.
    WOMAN: Which?
    MAN: I changed curtains. Green are definitely better.
    WOMAN: I told you that at our first encounter.
    MAN: And I remembered.

    CURTAIN.


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